Sorry for everthing that I've said and done
by GAfanficlover
Summary: One-shot. Sets during season 10. They are back together but Arizona wants to say things she didn't say before to Callie. It's my first post here so consider it while reading. And please, leave a review or a PM, it would help me a lot. (It's mostly about Arizona so I may will write one with what Callie wants to say to Ari. I don't know yet.)


_Sorry for everything that I've said and done._

 **AN: Hi everyone! I've been thinking a lot lately about writing fictions and I wanted to do it tonight so here we go… This one is a one-shot; I want to start with something shorter than a whole fiction. Just so you know, I'm French and writing in English is totally new for me so if I make mistakes, don't hesitate to tell me (it would help me a lot actually). And for the presentation I don't know if it's good but I tried my best. Again, don't hesitate to give me advises to improve my writing or my presentation skills. Yeah I still have a lot to learn :D One last thing, I accept all your reviews, bad or good but I do not tolerate messages of hate or whatever. If you don't like it I'm okay with this but I don't write and share things to receive mean words or God knows what. I'll leave you to this and wish you a good reading.**

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General POV:

After putting Sofia to bed, Arizona was sitting on the couch, a glass of wine in hand, waiting for Callie to come home. It was nearly after ten and she desperately wanted to talk to her wife but didn't know how and where to start. She had so many things to say. Her mind was going crazy and she felt like her head was about to explode. Since earlier that day she had been thinking about how lucky she was to have Callie back. Although, something still felt wrong. At first she hadn't been able to know what but then, it had it her like a slap on the face. The problem was that she hadn't been able to really excuse herself for everything that she had done and said to her wife. She had been apologizing a lot but had she really mean it? She didn't know. What she was sure about now was that she felt deeply sorry and didn't even recognize herself when she thought about all the things she had made Callie go through. If she had been able to, she would've done things differently but now it was too late, she couldn't take those words back. All she could do was moving forward despite their past. But to do that, she needed to talk to Callie and she needed to do it now. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door being opened. Callie entered the room and immediately noticed that something was wrong or at least seemed wrong.

" _Hey."_ she said before giving her wife a kiss on the lips.

" _Hi. I-I was waiting for you. I… I need to talk to you about something when you'll be ready to go to bed."_

" _Honey, you're scaring me right now. Is it something bad? Did I do something or did something happen?"_

Callie's rambling was quickly shut off as Arizona answered back.

" _No, no I just want to tell you things I didn't say before and I also need some alone time with my wife. I put Sofia to bed half an hour ago so I think she's fast asleep by now. I didn't mean to scare you when I said this. It's nothing bad, don't worry."_

" _Oh, ok. Well it's good because I was freaking out. Plus, I saw this look you give when you want to talk about something serious on your face when I walked in so yeah, I kind of freaked out."_

" _Just go take a shower. I'll be waiting in our bed. Oh and did you want to eat something?"_

" _No I already ate after my surgery just before heading back home."_

" _Ok, then I'll just go change and wait for you."_

Arizona got up, kissed he wife on the cheek, put her glass on the table and went to their bedroom to change into her pajamas.

Callie still didn't really understand what had just happened. She wasn't sure if she had to feel nervous about their upcoming "talk". With that last thought, she went to their bathroom to shower in order to clean herself and relax her tended muscles due to a long and exhausting day.

Ten minutes later, Callie got out of the bathroom dressed to sleep and went in their bedroom. Arizona was lying on the bed, her head resting on the headboard. Callie took a look at her and enjoyed the view for a few seconds.

" _Hey, come here."_ said Arizona while doing a sign for Callie to join her. Callie obeyed and climbed on the bed next to her wife. Arizona entwined her leg with Callie's and put her left arm around her waist. She then placed a soft kiss on her beautiful wife's neck and whispered _"I love you…"_ _"I love you too."_ answered Callie. Her head resting on Callie's chest, Arizona closed her eyes and a contented sigh escaped her mouth. _"I love how you smell"_ she said while looking up at Callie who had her eyes almost closed. _"I like how you smell too."_ Callie chuckled and leaned down to kiss Arizona softly but passionately. _"So, what did you want to tell me?"_ Arizona thought for a minute and started to speak, her eyes glued on Callie's. _" "You know, when I was in the woods, all I could think about was you and Sofia. Mark was giving up slowly so I had to stay strong, I had to stay awake and not let the horrible pain in my leg get over me. I had to fight; I had to get out of here alive for you and for Sofia. I've never been that terrified in my entire life. We were in the middle of nowhere and no one could see us, no one was coming for us. Those days have been awful; I thought I'd never get out. I thought I'd die there. But I didn't, I came back, you took care of me and…"_ She stopped, calming her emotions and started talking again.

" _Everything fell apart. I made you promise something I knew wasn't even possible and indeed, it wasn't. When we went back to the apartment all I did was yelling at you or getting angry at everything and anything. You needed me and I wasn't there. When Mark died I didn't even say I was sorry, I didn't console you. I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I didn't realize you were in pain too. I don't know who I was back to this time but certainly not the one you fell in love with. I wasn't myself; I only was the shell of me."_

Taken aback by all Arizona was telling her,Callie didn't say anything. She just lay there, holding her wife close and listening.

" _All I'm saying is that I should have done something to help you go through everything. You had saved my life for God's sake!"_

Callie didn't know how to feel, she was hearing what she had wanted to hear for so long but it broke her heart to see Arizona like this. She placed a loving kiss on her wife's head trying to encourage her and letting her know she was listening. _"I'm so sorry for everything…"_ said Arizona in a whisper feeling tears starting to fall. _"If I could do things differently, believe me I would. But I can't and now I'm scared all the time that one day you'll leave me. I-I know you won't but I can't help myself… I don't know if I deserve your love after all I've done. I'm sorry…"_ Tears became sobs and Arizona couldn't hold it anymore, she just let swept Arizona's tears away with her thumb and drew small patterns on her back to calm her down. _"I'm not going anywhere Ari. Remember? I'm here and that's how this works. You can't imagine how much I've wanted to hear those words. I mean, yeah you've already said you were sorry but right now, I know you really mean it. But please, stop crying because you're so much more beautiful when you smile. I love your super magic smile and I can't get enough of these adorable dimples."_ The last sentence made Arizona smile a little, it didn't reach her eyes though but that was a start and Callie felt happy about it.

They stared into each other's eyes for a minute but Arizona was the first one to break the silence. _"Thank you Callie. Despite the fact that I've been acting like a bitch, you're still here and it means everything to me. You can't imagine how much I love you…"_

With that being said, she rested herself on her right elbow and kissed Callie with everything she had. The kiss became more heated and Arizona felt Callie's tongue against her lips asking for entry which she immediately accepted. Their tongues battled for a moment and Arizona moved a little to be able to straddle Callie's lap. Callie smiled in the kiss but before things could go any further she pulled back slowly and locked eyes with Arizona. They shared a smile and went back to kissing but this time, Arizona only placed a little peck on Callie's lips.

Holding her wife tighter, Callie said _"Thank you for telling me all this. I know you don't open up easily and that sometimes you like keeping everything for yourself so yeah, thank you. And I love you too, so much."_

They still had a lot to talk about but after what they shared this night, they knew they would get through it. They had to.

 **AN2: Ok so I absolutely don't know what to think about it but I kind of feel proud about what I've written. Please, leave me reviews and let me know what your thoughts are**.


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